In Memory of Pam Jackson
On Saturday evening October 11, my Dad called me as I was driving home to tell me that Pam Jackson – our friend, and a beloved friend to scores of people within and outside of the horse community – had passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I had seen Pam less than 2 weeks before this, and I was immensely stunned and saddened at this tragic news. Yesterday I was honored as I was asked if I might write a tribute to Pam. I have been thinking of what to write, and I came to the conclusion that I should write about Pam as I knew her – as my friend and part of our Friesian family. So this is a personal story, but I hope from this story readers will get to know or remember Pam and feel the love and respect I have for her.
In 2002, Karen Waldron hosted a keuring at her estate in southwestern Virginia. The “Belle of the Ball” was a stunning mare named Lies van Bommelsteyn. Lies became Model mare and Best of Show that day. My parents were vocally enthusiastic as Lies took the honors. “That’s Pam Jackson’s horse!”, my mom exclaimed. “You remember Pam, she used to show saddle horses with your sister and Karen Waldron when y’all were kids”. I could not quite remember (I was a kid a long time ago), so my dad just grinned and said “Pam is a great lady”. After all those years, my parents still had an obvious affection for Pam, and that was how I was reintroduced to her.
Over time I would see Pam more and more – at inspections, shows, FHANA meetings. She and her husband Bill were inseparable in their devotion to one another and their love of their horses. Pam became a breeder of some of the best Friesians in North America. I would look for Pam and Bill at each Friesian event. Often I would see Bill first. He’d give me a big hug and ask about my family and I would kiss him on the cheek and ask how he and Pam were. Soon I’d ask about the horses – where they were showing, and what the plans were for the next breeding season. Bill would just laugh, point to his wife, and say “you’ll have to ask the boss!”. Very few knew Friesian horses as well as Pam. As soon as I could, I’d monopolize Pam’s time, asking her about the new crop of stallions or how the training of her show horses was going. I remember her laughing that infectious deep belly laugh followed by some incisive quip in her smooth South Carolina drawl. I loved the sound of Pam’s laugh; sometimes I would try to say something funny, just to hear her laugh.
In 2004 Pam persuaded our family to bring two of our horses to Statesville, NC for a Friesian under Saddle class Pam was organizing at a big saddlebred show. We are not really into the show circuit, but Pam was a woman on a mission and it was tough to say no to one so passionate. She felt very strongly that the Friesians needed to be performance horses. “Jeannine”, she would say (Pam would start many sentences to me by saying my name first. This is an old southern trait that shows friendship and respect to the listener). “People need to see these horses. It is good for the breed”. After that show it took us 2 hours to get our horses from the stable to the horse trailer 100 yards away. We were swamped by crowds of people wanting to know about this beautiful, impressive breed. Once again, Pam Jackson was right and had done yet another positive thing for the Friesian horse and our Friesian community.
Later on Pam became heavily involved in the Friesian performance horse group, IFSHA, and her horses competed all over the southeast. I saw Pam’s mare Tessa van de Zuiderwaard in Roanoke at one of Tessa’s first showings as she blew away everything in the ring that night. I was so impressed that I meandered to the stables to see the horse, not knowing a thing about her. The rider, Ashley Walker, told me a lady named Pam Jackson owned the mare. “Of course”, I thought. “Who else…” Tessa went on to win nearly every class she ever entered as she had the show career of a lifetime for a Friesian in saddleseat. Pam and Bill became good friends of Tessa’s breeder, Femmy Fien from the Netherlands. Femmy has since visited the Jacksons often to see Tessa and Tessa’s brother Maurice compete. And so, through her horses, Pam is loved in the Netherlands, just as she has been loved here in the US.
Pam has hosted the South Carolina keuring for the last three years and it was at that keuring this past September that I last saw Pam. She was running on all cylinders to get through the keuring as organizer and owner of a number of adult horses and foals. She excitedly told me about her and Bill’s plans to go to the IFSHA show with Femmy in late October. Thinking of hauling those expensive horses for thirteen hours to attend a show sort of made my eyes glass over. Pam saw this and said, you guessed it, “Jeannine, people need to see them. It is good for the breed.”
At the time, we were standing over by Tessa’s stall. Tessa is now retired from the show ring, but was there in the keuring stall with a little filly by her side. “I thought she was not pregnant this year”, I said. Pam’s face softened and she stroked Tessa’s nose. “Tessa was not pregnant. This baby’s mother rejected her and Tessa took her in and has adopted her.” I could not believe it – Tessa adopted this baby without even having any milk for her (and thus – one would think – no maternal instinct). I commented on that to Pam and Pam just said “Tessa is special. She has a heart of gold”.
You know, you can tell the character of a group of people by the character of their leader. In a similar way, you could tell the character of Pam’s horses by knowing Pam. Like Pam, her horses are tough and impressive. They are also kind and dedicated. When I think of Bill and the horses and all of us without Pam, I get overwhelmingly sad. I have to think of something to cheer me up. Somehow I imagine Pam is with her own angel now. An angel, who like Tessa, took a wide-eyed newcomer and is teaching her the ropes. And no one deserves that angel like Pam does – Pam was, and always will be, special, with a heart of gold.
Dahlia’s new foal and the letter to my vet
Today I mailed off a letter to my vet, Heather Jenkins. She is a wonderful vet and has been great with our horses. She is practical, yet kind. Knowledgable and skilled, yet always open to learning more. We are lucky to have her. She helped me navigate some tricky waters yesterday and today I mailed a letter to her. The contents were of some thoughts I had concerning Dahlias new foal. I do not think Heather will mind if I share this…
May 30, 2008
Heather,
Sometimes I write down the stories of things that happen to me. I have found that I enjoy this, and it helps give me insights to my own thoughts/feelings. And besides, the stories on southwest Virginia and the horses are good stories that deserve telling.
Yesterday I wrote to my other Friesian breeding friends – the people I am closest to. Here, with a few edits, is what I said:
You are all my best Friesian friends. I probably will not post this, because it goes to my heart. But I wanted to tell you about my day.
Dahlia delivered at 1:15 am and it was picture perfect. It could not have gone any smoother. I gave the enema (“ah. a colt”), he nursed. I went to bed exhausted but relieved.
Today I called the vet to do a vet check. At eleven she got there and said “oh, a filly!” Huh? How did I get that wrong? Well, I had the feeling Dahlia would have a colt. Dad thought a filly. We were both right. This sweet, beautiful baby has a congenital defect in the reproductive system. He is a little of both. So, he pees funny and has odd looking privates. And his testes are sort of here, there everywhere. But otherwise, he is perfect in every way. He is just “special”.
I read up on this defect. It is not hereditary, so neither Dahlia nor Feike is at fault. It is just one of those things that happens in utero every now and then. There is no reason this horse cannot be a wonderful trail horse and companion. You just need to make sure he is gelded early and his hormone levels are monitored so he will not be a problem at puberty.
But of course it makes no sense to try to register him or send him to a keuring. He is not “up to snuff” per the KFPS. After the vet and Va Tech confirmed the diagnosis, I was a little at a loss. I could not really sell him to people wanting a sporthorse. And I did not want to sell him to someone who would not care for him, or would look down on him because he is “different”. But I could not keep him as a pasture ornament. I do not have the space or money for it. I asked my vet, should I euthanize him? “DONT YOU DARE” she exclaiimed. “He is perfect except for this one thing. I will find a home for him or take him myself. He is wonderful.”
“OK”, I said “I will keep him with his momma and our herd until he is weaned. Then we will find him a good home”.
Two hours later my vet called. One of her vet techs, who has little money but adores Friesians and has always wanted one of ours (“an Everhart Friesian!.” That is what she calls them.), heard about my little fellow from the vet. She came to see him and fell in love immediately. She asked if I would sell him, because she would give him a great home (I knew this would be true because it was the vet who made this match).
Unlike a lot of Friesian owners, this family is not exactly rolling in money. But they are horse people and know Friesians. I gave her the Friesian magazine with Feike’s picture on the front. And I told her about how talented Dahlia is as a carriage horse. “I will teach the baby to ride AND drive”, she said. I told her that if she would pay my dad to baby train the foal until he was weaned, she could have the horse. I could see she was filled with joy.
And so my sweet little colt has been sold. He will live with us until he is weaned. Every day he will play with our other colt and be admired by his mother, who thinks he is absolutely perfect. When he reaches puberty he will be with an owner and vet who understand his special needs and will help him, so he will keep his good heart, and remain a safe horse. He will be just 20 minutes away where we can visit him any time. He will be with a family who does not care that he is a little different. A little special.
As they were leaving, the young woman’s mother, who is paying for 1/2 the horse, said to me “I am sorry the breeding program did not go well for you this year. But I promise he will have a good home.”. And I asked the young woman, “will you love this horse?”. “Oh yes, I already love him”. “And”, I said, “will you work with him every day and teach him so he will be a good partner and companion?” “Yes,” she said, “I will not spoil him, and I will always be kind to him and teach him”.
“So,” I told the mother. “I think this year my breeding program has been a great success”.
Atticus is a big name for an Appalachian vet tech to remember/appreciate. So, we have decided to call him my favorite Friesian name – Tsjip (“Chip”).
I am not so keen on the hand I was dealt today, but I must say, it played out well.
As odd as it may sound, today I am very grateful.
Regine Brockway, a small but incredibly experienced breeder in Washington State, answered me with this:
dear jeannine,
i read your story and while i feel for you, i am glad that you decided AGAINST euthenization. nature sometimes plays us a bad hand, but i do not consider a hermaphrodite to be one. i have met 3 altogether and i must admit, all three impressed me because of their beauty, athleticism and kindness. you have a lot of “positives” of two genders combined in one horse with both gender specific genitalias. it is nothing to be embarrassed about. fact is, the foal is healthy. while it may not be a profitable business endeavor, i think you got your satisfaction by making someone extremely happy today, which may not have been the case if the foal had been a single gender. you also found a heavenly place for your foal by finding someone who will love him regardless what “it” is.
i give you a big hug and while i am sad that you did not get the filly you were hoping for, i am glad that tsjip is healthy and will have a happy life!
So, my final thoughts?
I feel grateful because I got so many life lessons over this. I saw a kind vet who went out of her way. I met a wonderful family who knows the value of a great horse and does not care that he is a little different. I am a little “different” myself, and this meant a lot to me. My friends have been so sweet and it is comforting to know they are there. I see how Dahlia loves and cares for her baby – and I’ll swear, she really is proud of him – and I realize (yet again) that animals often have their priorities correct when we do not. And I got all these lessons at almost no cost – monetary or otherwise. Sure, I am out the breeding/vet costs, but they were not that great. And the baby and Dahlia are completely healthy – no one even had to go to the hospital. Not even a retained placenta! Many of my friends lost foals or (shudder) their mares this year. Mine are fine, and I am immensely grateful for that.
So there were a lot of gifts to me.
Well, now I look to 2009. Since the winter I had been considering only breeding Cori, and leaving Dahlia open since the economy is a bit tough and I figured I might have Dahlia’s foal on the property a while. But now, he has a good home to go to in 5-6 months.
Hmm, maybe I will breed Dahlia this spring after all….
Heather, thank you for all you do.
- Jeannine
My Tara story
OK, I know I owe everyone more stories and videos from the stallion show, and I promise they will come. I have been traveling a lot lately and I am behind on everything. But now that the stallion show is over, all the breeders are pondering over what to do for the spring. What stallions are the best for our mares, what will the market be like in 2008 and 2009, how are our pregnant mares – due this spring/summer – coming along. Dahlia is due June 1 with her 2nd foal. Pregnancy is going well. I have kept her 1st foal for a while. That filly, Tara, is now 21 months old. This is my Tara story.
When Dahlia was pregnant with her baby in 2006 I was very anxious about whether the foal would be male or female. For some reason I was 100% sure it would be a male. And I desperately wanted Dahlia to have a girl. Still, I was so sure it was going to be a boy that I had a name all picked out for him. Since Friesian names must start with a letter based on the year they are born, I had to pick a name that started with the letter T, U or V (at least I think that is what it was). I was going to name him Tsjip (“Chip”). A good ol’ Friesian name.
In the winter before the foal’s birth – right about the time of year it is now – I had a vivid dream. In my dream it was spring and a very warm and glowing day out on the farm. My dad called to me to say that Dahlia had had her baby in the field and we went out to see the foal. The baby was sleeping by Dahlia’s feet and I pointed down and said “look Dad – it is a filly!”. At that the baby stood up and began to run around in the sunshine. I looked at my father and said “I am going to name her Tara”. When I awoke from my dream I called my parents to tell them the story. We all just sort of laughed, though with some surprise that in my dream I stumbled upon a name starting with “T” – a correct name for the year. But we discounted the whole thing – everyone was sure that when the time came, Dahlia was having a boy.
On April 19 of that year my parents phoned me at 6am. “Dahlia has had the baby”, they said. “And it is a girl”. I eagerly hopped in the car and drove an hour to get to the farm. The baby walked right up to me to say hello. She was friendly, brave and so curious. Just like a big dog. “What are you going to name her?”, my parents asked. My mind raced through various Friesian names I had considered. Then I realized how silly it was to even ponder the question – I knew what her name was supposed to be. “I am going to name her Tara”.
Tara will be 2 years old this April. Soon we can start teaching her to ground drive and learn what a bit and saddle are. Next year when she is 3, her real adult training can begin. One of my more popular videos is of Tara back when she was 4 months old. I took this to show the training dad does with the foals, and how amazingly effective he is with such training. Many have already seen this, but if you want, you can view it again.
Meanwhile, I am wondering if Dahlia will have a boy or a girl this year. The name must begin with A, B or C. I have names picked out, but who knows what I may dream between now and June 1.
Breeding season is winding down – and we have pregnant mares!
Breeding horses is an expensive and stressful endeavor. Breeding Friesians (all artificial insemination, of course) is a true labor of love and dedication to the breed. After all, Friesians have not been culled based on fertility – we are lucky just to get one here. If a cow is not very fertile, it becomes hamburger. But if a Friesian (male or female) is not particularly fertile, it is a secondary consideration. At Tanbark Acres we are very lucky to have good broodmares and even with that, it feels like a miracle when we have a pregnancy.
Last year was a very tough breeding year on the east coast and of the three mares, only one ended up pregnant. Who knows why – the weather perhaps (this year the south – Texas, for example – is suffering from a lack of pregnancies). For all practical purposes, breeding season is May – July, and it is almost the end of July now. For us, this year has been a nail biter too, but with only 3 weeks left in the season we now have two confirmed pregnancies. Thank. the. Lord. We try with Cori (she is a new mom and has not had a regular cycle yet after having her baby) next week. Who knows, if we are outrageously lucky we may get 3 of 3 pregnant.
So, though we never “count our Frisians before they are hatched”, at the moment things look good. The next few months are critical to see if the mares hang onto their pregnancies. It is mostly luck.
For now, we’re happy and relieved to say that:
Hiltje (Lute 304 x Lammert) is in foal to Wander 352. The foal will be a full sibling to Cori (our 1st premie ster broodmare) and 2003 foal Jantsje. I need to write up the breeding strategy on that but suffice it to say that this is a nice cross that produces tall, pretty, sweet and happy all-round Friesian horses that are truly beloved by their owners
Dahlia, ster (Thomas 327 x Tsjerk 328) is in foal to Feike 395. We are pretty excited with this cross. If you just look at Dahlia and Feike’s damlines for the past four generations (that’s 8 mares to consider), five of the 8 mares made model and 6 of them made preferent. All were ster, of course. And Feike’s daddy is one of only two living preferent stallions in the world. So, if nothing else, this foal will have just about the best papers in America. Breeding strategy for this cross here.
We’ll try breeding Cori back to Heinse next week. Wish us luck!
Just in case you thought horse breeding might be “fun”
My mare Dahlia is not being very cooperative for breeding. Her cycles have been off, so I decided to incur the cost of taking her to the vet clinic for monitoring so I can get the timing just right for artificial insemination. She showed heat Monday and Dad loaded her on the trailer and carted her over the mountain. The vet examination revealed that she was ready to be bred NOW, not in 4 days like we thought. I called the stallion owner at 3pm, begging for her to send me semen at terribly short notice. She is a good stallion owner and by 6pm, the semen was at Fed Ex, due at noon the next morning.
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