Just in case you thought horse breeding might be “fun”

My mare Dahlia is not being very cooperative for breeding. Her cycles have been off, so I decided to incur the cost of taking her to the vet clinic for monitoring so I can get the timing just right for artificial insemination. She showed heat Monday and Dad loaded her on the trailer and carted her over the mountain. The vet examination revealed that she was ready to be bred NOW, not in 4 days like we thought. I called the stallion owner at 3pm, begging for her to send me semen at terribly short notice. She is a good stallion owner and by 6pm, the semen was at Fed Ex, due at noon the next morning.

Today was a bit stressful anyway. The truck blew its transmission. I had to get on the road for a business trip. At noon the vet’s office called. No shipment. I started calling Fed Ex. “well, they said, the shipment was somehow delayed. You’ll get it tomorrow.” WHAT??? “Hey,” I said, “this is PERISHABLE and it was supposed to be PRIORITY OVERNIGHT. How can you just say ‘it’ll be tomorrow’?” I would not take no for an answer and stayed on the phone off and on for nearly five hours. I managed to make FedEx get the container on a flight that night. It arrived in Greensboro at 7:30 pm. My dad got in the car and headed to the airport – 1.25 hours away. I called Fed Ex again to say he was on his way. “Well,” they said “we do not unload until midnight.” WHAT?? UNLOAD MY STINKING CONTAINER!! I got the supervisor of FedEx cargo at Greensboro. Meanwhile my dad said he was not leaving without the package.

By 9:30 dad had gotten the container and headed back north for the 2 hour drive north to the vet. At 11:30pm I get the call. Dahlia ovulated this morning, probably before 10am. There is at best a 12 hour time frame from ovulation for a successful insemination. 11:30pm was too late. We are not even sure if the semen was still good at that time either.

Had FedEx not missed the shipment, we would have been spot on.

So, there goes about $100 for gas and horse transport, $50 for the vet, $50 to mail back the %#*& container, a loss of possibly the last chance to breed for the year, and $300-$400 for the semen collection (I have asked the stallion owner to bill FedEx for that). My poor parents are driving up and down the road at midnight to help me.

This is freaking ridiculous. FedEx does one thing. They deliver packages. Until they don’t.

I am very upset.